April, Sunday 17, 1864
For what? am I liveing?—why is it that I am spared from day to day with no happiness myself, and I am sure my poor weary life adds not moiety of pleasure and happiness to any one in this household. Oh! give me strength, give me patience my blessed redeemer, to receive thy punishment with meekness and humbleness—and faith that in thy own good time all will be well—
Tate and Helen with the children went down to Col. Perkins to spend the day, came home this evening in the rain. Col. Overton came this evening, did not stay many minutes, went to Col. Perkins to meet his friends—
Father, Joanna and I have spent the day alone, indeed I have been all alone, only saw them at dinner—read two books in the Bible—Galations & Ephesians—We heard Forrest had Columbus, Ky, can’t vouch for the correctness of the report—God grant it may be so, and that Eddie is safe – Laura and Bettie said a very good lesson tonight—My Goslins have given me a great deal of trouble—did not stay in the Parlor long after Tea—spent the evening alone as usual, Laura & Tip both sleep—My poor Beulah, I wonder where she is tonight—how much I miss & grieve for her, no one cares, or knows—