April, Sunday 3, 1864
This has been a sad and lonely day for me—I miss my poor Beulah so much. Tippie Dora has not come tonight, so Laura and I are all alone. Tate, Joanna, Nannie, Robert, and Uncle Elum all went to Church. Father went up to Mr. Hildebrand’s, Helen was at home, spent the morning in her own room. My sainted Mother, how different from what you wished, to see your two youngest born so widely separated, both in thought & feeling—it is not my fault, I pine for a companion, yet she is happier with those of her choice—
I spent the morning in Father’s big chair, reading. I read the book of Romans, Father returned but had no news. We have not heard from Forrest since he crossed the Cumberland at Eddyville. God grant us success throughout the State, and return my Bro safe to us once again. I spent the morning alone, grieving for my lost friend—just one week ago this eve I had a long walk, with her as companion, but now I, oh! it makes no difference to any one but myslef, why do I thus complain. A hard storm of rain and wind is raging. Laura learning her lesson. Bettie did not come tonight. Father of mercy give me hope, brighten my life, oh! give me a companion, or my mind is lost. Thy will, not mine oh! Lord be done—Tip just arrived