June, Friday 17, 1864
A stupid and unhappy day for me—the rest have all enjoyed it. I was in a sad mood, sat in the Parlor alone, sewing most of the time, made a Soldier’s shirt, none in particular, after finishing it, read three or four chapters in Macario, an delighted with it, there is one character in which I find much sympathy, will not mention until I live through it. I was never so oppressed in my feelings as in the last few days, I cannot define it, yet I feel I cannot rush quick enough to meet my fate, with a knowledge I will shudder when it overtakes me. God have mercy on my poor weary spirit, give me strength and patience to calmly see thy will not mine be done. Our news is not cheering today, oh! God we have suffered, we have endured patiently thy chastenings, if it can please the, crown our two Armys now in action, with glorious victory, let thy smile brighten the Sunny South with peace, soften the hearts of our enemies, and oh! bless my dear Father and Brothers—